I’m trying something new and participating in Five Minute Friday with Lisa-Jo Baker. It’s my way of kicking perfection, fear, and procrastination in the tushy and on out the door. If you’re not familiar with it, Five Minute Friday is a challenge to write for five minutes on a one word prompt without worrying about editing and typos and such. Just five minutes of focused writing. And I’m curious to see what will happen…
This week’s word is: CLOSE.
GO
Close. Close. Closer still.
It’s where I must remain. Close to the cross. Closer to the cross. Knowing it’s the only way I’m going to make it. Knowing I am nothing without it. N.O.T.H.I.N.G.
But I know The One who is something. And apart from him, there is no goodness in me. The Jesus in me is worth something. But there are plenty of days I wrestle to find the Something within me. I wrestle to find me.
There are days that I find myself treading furiously in the raging waters of life. Desperate to stay afloat. And I cling and claw and gnaw my way back to the cross. Gripping for dear life as wave after crashing wave of doubt and fear tries to pull me away.Closer I pull the cross.
And I sit like a bedraggled castaway in the sands and cry out for salvation. Rescue me, Jesus. I’m drowning in my sin. I’m drowning in my failures. I’m drowning in my good intentions that never see the light of day. I’m drowning in messes and dirty diapers and fights over imaginary pets that only my children understand. I’m fighting to nurture seeds in little hearts and a teenage heart that some days I’m just not sure what to do with. And I just want to fall in a heap on the floor but then I may not be able to peel myself off the stickiness that covers it so please, please just help. me. Jesus.
This. This is what keeps my spirit on bended knees. This is what makes me know that I am nothing. Nothing.
Nothing without Him. I will not survive apart from Him.
I am so completely desperate to be closer to that cross. Close to Him.
STOP
Jennifer says
Sweet sister, I have been there! It all has purpose. Be faithful. Draw close. Abide. “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)
You are not alone!
Jo says
Jennifer, thank you so much for stopping by and slathering me up with words of encouragement! 🙂 I draw strength from knowing I am not alone. I haven’t had a chance to check out your podcasts, but I’m looking forward to doing that soon. And that 5 ingredient no bake cheesecake…have mercy! I need some of that on a plate like 5 minutes ago.
Mindy Rogers says
Oh how I can relate to you! I am another bedraggled momma clinging close to the cross.
Jo says
Bedraggled mamas unite! 🙂 Seriously though, isn’t it insanely amazing that we, the bedraggled mamas, find our victory and rest there, clinging close to the cross? Can’t imagine what life would be like if Jesus was missing from it.
P.S. Your Mother’s Day photos took my breath away. Absolutely beautiful!
Sherry says
Sweet beautiful post. And a great reminder. I was feeling pretty down today. Your post helped me to remember that even when we feel so alone that we have Jesus. Yes.
I have Jesus. Thanks for sharing this.
Jo says
Thanks for visiting and your kind words, Sherry! It’s always wonderful to meet a fellow cross clinger. 🙂